Rambled Egg

This week's going by pretty quickly thank goodness. I went for some retail therapy last night, got a couple more work shirts and a new suit. But best of all, the trainers I've been after for a while now. I love them, I think I'll wear them later.

I'm still waiting for a reply off Ali, talk about keeping me in suspense.

I can't wake up this morning...

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Wow.. amazingly, I've had a good weekend! On friday night I went out with work folk. Its only the second social outing I've attended with them so I wasn't really looking forward to it. But again, I had a great night. We went bowling at 6pm, other people started drinking then and so did I. (Always helps to get the tongue wagging). We had a couple of games and then went to an italian restaurant in Radcliffe. Theres a girl who works upstairs who I think is about my age, I never really ever spoke to her but ended up sat opposite her for the meal. It was good to get to know her a little. Yeah, good night. And I didn't get get slaughtered this time either.

On saturday I went to Andy's wedding. He used to come to our church a few years back and was in my year at school. We don't really see him much these days but he invited a few of us along to the wedding and the evening bash. We had a great time there. Much drinking and dancing. I took my camera along and have some hilarious drunken photos. They pretty much sum up the evening (I think I could use a few for blackmail too hehe.)

And on sunday Phil and I met up with Jo and Craig again, they stopped by on the way back from Jo's parents. We took them out for a lovely meal at the Fairview. Then we went up to Tandle Hills for a stroll. It was good to see them again, we need to make an effort to stay in better contact. That evening we were supposed to be at Graham's for dvd's, but he had to take his dad to hospital to have the cut on his arm stitched. So Phil and I looked after Ryan and we watched The Last Samurai. Or should I say, we tried to watch it. It was a pirate copy and kept stopping, but this only happened near the end so we had to persevere. Good film, I'd like to watch an uninterrupted version someday.

Oh yeah, and I did write to Ali, confessing all. It'll be interesting to see what she thinks.

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This week is d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g. Largely due to me missing Lauren so much. I don't know how I'm going to manage. I'm trying to keep busy, and trying to take my mind off her.. but I'm finding that tough.

Phil and I went to visit Jo and Craig on monday night, I gave them my set of photos from Cornwall. I'll have to get another set for myself. On tuesday night I did a bit of writing, to all four student pals. That inspired me to begin writing some monkey mail (unbelievable I know) its a start. Last night I went up to Phil's to watch the footy. Oldham got thrashed 6-0 by Spurs, not good.

I'm considering seeking out an old uni friend to talk about my little 'problem' I have to do it soon or I'll burst. I texted Faith last night, I've not seen her since St Pat's day. Well... shes moved to Bristol, handy! I'm thinking about contacting Ali, I know she'll understand how I feel. Though I'm not sure about her opinions. I'll have to think about that one.

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Well.. shes gone. I can't believe how quickly this has come around. Its probably a good thing, as things were getting a little.. um, intense.

I picked her up on my way home on friday and we spent the afternoon together watching MTV2. We had fajitas and other people started arriving from 8. It was a good party, I made many cocktails, but took it easier than last time and ended up being less drunk! (Go me) Ryan had way too much and threw up in my back garden... and only one glass got smashed! Becky left early so Lauren ended up staying over. I took her home mid-afternoon to finish her packing. People came round again that evening and we had a quieter night.. played "bop it" and practised juggling.

Lauren left for uni at 9am on sunday so I didnt see her. Church was ok, I'm still getting hair comments 3 weeks later. Chilled out, watched Nemo in the afternoon and Haunted Mansion that evening.. drank lots of beer throughout.

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I'm deliriously happy.

Got a new PC at work (finally) Windows XP greatness.

Its friday.

Tonight... I'm partying.

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I feel so stuck in the middle. Ryan only feels comfortable talking to me about things, and so does Lauren. I care for them both, but I feel very guilty too obviously. I feel such a hypocrite talking to Ryan - I don't know how I'm managing to live with myself.

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What a weekend..

I went to see Lauren on friday afternoon to talk to her about what had happened the evening before, both her and Ryan were drunk so it was uncertain how the two of them stood. My only advice was that she needed to talk to him, sooner rather than later, and of course whilst sober. That evening she went out with some other friends. Then later on when she got back she rang me to say she'd decided to end it properly. She knew I'd blame myself, and I still do.

I went round again on saturday afternoon to lend her my shoulder for a cry, she'd met up with him that morning and done the deed. Phil and I went to see Ryan too which was particularly difficult for me, he's heartbroken. It's so awkward now, we're such a close group of friends. I spent the night with Lauren while the others went to a barbeque. She couldn't gather up the courage to come to church despite my efforts. But then made a last minute decision to come to Grahams with us all last night. The two of them had been chatting online and Ryan told her he didn't mind.

It was strange and difficult for all there. It was a bit too much for them both and Phil took Lauren home after a couple of hours. It was a start at least.

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hair..

http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=5861&perpage=15&pagenumber=5

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Back home, back to normal, and back to drama.

Lauren split up with her boyfriend last night. I can't work out whether this is good or bad. I feel partly responsible, obviously, even though she denies I am.

I don't know what to think.

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Damn, that was a busy month!

I had a fab holiday, it seems so long ago now. It was great to catch up with Jo & Craig, we all got along so well, we just 'click.'

The first week was glorious. Sun, sun, sun. Spent a few days at the beach that week. Jo and I tried out body-boarding. Over the two weeks we visited practically every town along the south coast. During the second week the weather was a little more changeable, being so near the coast and all. There were reports of severe flooding one day in a town a little further north of where we were. We all had a lot of worried "are you still alive" phonecalls that day. We got caught in a few showers and we only had one bad day where it rained all day, but we still made the most of it. The cottage was lovely. Small, but cute and cosy. Complete with a real fire which was nice on the chilly nights.

I had my hair cut on friday and I love it, I can literally get up and go without doing anything to it! I've been on church camp since saturday, that was fun too. On saturday a group of us went kayaking. We went for a walk on sunday. Monday we visited this place in the Lakes called 'Go Ape' which is basically an assault course, but in the trees! It was split into 5 sections, each ending with a zipline. It was loads of fun, some of them were very high, I'm not keen on heights normally but for some reason this didn't bother me. I'm covered in bruises from a combination of all these activities, plus football in the evening. Yesterday we went to Blackpool for the day. The Pleasure Beach is now ridiculously expensive, so we only went on one ride, which we all got drenched on. We strolled up and down the front to dry off, had a bite to eat and came home.

I'll post pics of the new hair asap.

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